They may say something to you or about you, but what they are saying was a response to what they are seeing through their trauma-tinted lenses that color everything they observe and experience.
They're not even really seeing you... they are seeing a fragmented, skewed version of you and responding because of how upset they have been feeling. And it's awfully easier to blame you for how they feel than look at healing their own trauma-tined lenses.
Honestly... we can all find ourselves as the script-writer in this sort of dramatic narrative... And we usually cast ourselves as the victim, or the hero. The other person is usually the villain, right?
I recently found myself as the villain in someone else's long-time narrative. And, after careful re-review (and general approval) of my own agenda and integrity, it was helpful for me to realize that... that's ok. I don't have to defend myself or mind that. I am realizing that it's not their job to understand me, nor is it my job to understand or change them. It is just a reflection of how they are seeing the world around them. And chances are, there will be others who might cast me in the role in the future.
It was a real, tangible milestone for me in seeing my own personal growth... At its core, it's truly not personal. It's their perspective. Realizing that helps me be more clear, more gracious, and more compassionate.
#love #well #kind #truthful #personaldevelopment #growth #acceptance #clarity #purpose #perspective #approval #oilup #breathdeeply
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